Posted on by V

Tread lightly

Over the last 4 years I’ve spend a lot of time analyzing the way things could’ve turned out different. Analyzing all the choices that were made and how situations could’ve been handled differently. For years I blamed myself for mishandling the situation and as a result costing myself someone I valued quite a bit.

Time went on and as they say time heals all wounds. The disappointment in myself lessened. I learned different ways to handle similar situations if I were to ever find myself in that situation again. I made peace with my choices and the outcomes of consequences I had to live with. I accepted how life was after the fact.

Now, I feel I have a privilege I never saw coming or planned for. In some ways I’m sort of slightly freaking out because I don’t know where to go from here. I know what direction I want things to go in but I’m not sure that’s even possible. I know what I want but I’m not sure the ball is in my court in that sense. I don’t think I’m in a position to really call the shots. With that being said, I don’t want to let this chance slip through my fingertips.

One day at a time, eh?

Posted on by V

Christmas 19

Overall, this Christmas was the best one I’ve had in quite a few years. I’m thankful for the level of understanding that was displayed by members of the family. I’m thankful for the quality time spent. I’m thankful for all the laughter and banter. I feel truly blessed as this year winds down.

This holiday is usually just another one where there are certain family members that are not around either because they are in a different part of the world and couldn’t be present or because of death. While their presence will always be missed a day like today is really one where you just take in everything around you. Appreciate what’s right here and now in front of you. Here’s to hoping someday we’re all in the same geographic location.

I can only hope the ones not here due to death have found peace and are resting easy. While trying to enjoy the moment H you are not forgotten.

Thankful for forgiveness also.. hearing from someone I haven’t spoken to in a long time was unexpected but forgiveness is everything.

Tomorrow the 26th marks four years. How time has passed.. and how things have changed for the better. Cheers.

Posted on by V

Work trips

P and I were in Jersey for 3 days and normally business trips are chaotic or so they feel with the new city and drastic change in day to day routines. This trip was different. I felt good about everything that happened. I feel that we’re making progress for the first time. It’s one thing to be able to spend time with someone and truly find value in the time spent and it’s another thing to feel burdened by the person’s presence.

Something’s changing. I feel more safe. I feel valued and appreciated just a little bit more than I did before.

Everyday we learn to adapt more and more to one another and I know if the foundation is solid longevity is guaranteed.

Posted on by V

1/4 down

The first 25 years of my life have been interesting to say the least. I’ve learned a lot about myself, life, people and the world I live in. There were a lot of dark periods but I’ve always managed to come out on top in time. I’m blessed to be closing this chapter on a positive note. My mindset is healthier than it’s ever been and for that I’m grateful. Here’s to year 26!