Today I had a mental break down you could say. And at work at that too… I found out that there were going to be some drastic changes and while change is not necessarily bad this entire year has been about change especially at work for me. A person can only bend so much before they break. I was told that the reason the company is so reliant on me is because I’m great at what I do. For many that would be a compliment but I don’t do my job well for recognition. I do my job well because I take pride in things that are a product of my efforts. I feel I’ve been picking up everyone’s slack and I can’t keep doing that without risking a burn out. My question to management was when do we start holding employees accountable for their actions or lack thereof? It’s not that I’m doing great work because there isn’t much to it but it’s just that I care. Not everyone naturally cares or takes pride in their work but if there’s no standard and accountability how do we know if people are giving it their all? Today I marched into our human capital office and basically told Kelly I’m handing in my badge and never coming back. In that moment I was absolutely ready to resign on the spot and I still feel I would’ve followed through with it had they not have called a meeting and allowed me to voice my concerns and respect my decision to decline the change they’re trying to push. I’ve never felt so overwhelmed to the point of putting my grievances on record but today I feel it was for the best. Hopefully this means I can continue to go into work and do my job and go home when the day’s tasks are complete.

I’m learning to say no and speak up for what I need to maintain my sanity and I don’t regret that. No job is worth compromising my sanity.