Posted on by V

“Good friend“

Something unexpected happened a few days ago.. they say be careful what you wish for because you just might get it all. I received a phone call one afternoon and everything changed. Suddenly there was no awkwardness and walking on egg shells. It’s crazy how easy it is to reconnect with someone you genuinely connected with before when both people are open to it.

They also say old habits die hard and while I’ve grown up a lot in the last 5 years somethings are just instinct. Caring is an instinct in this case. Empathy is an instinct at this point as well. That’s all there is to it.

In a way, I’m glad that people I haven’t talked to in years feel that they can come to me at anytime when they need solid advice though. It’s flattering really if you think about it. In someone’s darkest time I’m the person they think can help bring some clarity to their situation. Humbling.

Posted on by V

Rekindle

There’s that saying that says if it’s meant to be it will be. It’s been on my mind a bit lately. We drift from people and that could be a combination of friends and family but sometimes we have an opportunity to pull the pieces back together and reconnect and that can never be taken for granted. Sometimes you can jump right back into where things left off but other times you wade through a bit of knee deep water before things feel like they’re back to what they were. Essentially, years go by and people change but even with that it’s still possible to rekindle a friendship. There are those rare cases when so much time has passed that rekindling a friendship just isn’t worth the effort. Not necessarily saying there are ill intentions or bad blood but we’re just on different paths and going in different directions. The key is being prepared for either one of those outcomes regardless of what you really want.

Posted on by V

Tread lightly

Over the last 4 years I’ve spend a lot of time analyzing the way things could’ve turned out different. Analyzing all the choices that were made and how situations could’ve been handled differently. For years I blamed myself for mishandling the situation and as a result costing myself someone I valued quite a bit.

Time went on and as they say time heals all wounds. The disappointment in myself lessened. I learned different ways to handle similar situations if I were to ever find myself in that situation again. I made peace with my choices and the outcomes of consequences I had to live with. I accepted how life was after the fact.

Now, I feel I have a privilege I never saw coming or planned for. In some ways I’m sort of slightly freaking out because I don’t know where to go from here. I know what direction I want things to go in but I’m not sure that’s even possible. I know what I want but I’m not sure the ball is in my court in that sense. I don’t think I’m in a position to really call the shots. With that being said, I don’t want to let this chance slip through my fingertips.

One day at a time, eh?

Posted on by V

Work trips

P and I were in Jersey for 3 days and normally business trips are chaotic or so they feel with the new city and drastic change in day to day routines. This trip was different. I felt good about everything that happened. I feel that we’re making progress for the first time. It’s one thing to be able to spend time with someone and truly find value in the time spent and it’s another thing to feel burdened by the person’s presence.

Something’s changing. I feel more safe. I feel valued and appreciated just a little bit more than I did before.

Everyday we learn to adapt more and more to one another and I know if the foundation is solid longevity is guaranteed.

Posted on by V

Redemption

It’s a great feeling when someone puts everything on the line to stand up for you and what they know is right.

Today ended like this: when you’ve said what you’ve said and the ball is in their court all you do is wait and see how the game plays out.

Confrontation is never easy but it’s sometimes a necessary step if progress is to be made.