Posted on by V

Grandpa

I hope you’re watching over us today, as you would have been 78 years old. It’s a difficult truth to face—that I never had the chance to meet you. I can’t help but imagine all the moments we could’ve shared, the conversations we could’ve had about our mutual love for music, the fishing trips we could’ve gone on, or the countless boats you might have helped design. I think about the jewelry pieces we would’ve picked out together to add to my collection, and all the ways you could have shaped my life.

Talking to family has made me realize that everyone chose their own path in their relationship with you, but in my heart, I know that distance would never have been a barrier for us. There’s always been a quiet longing for you that’s never gone away. For much of my life, I’ve felt as though a part of me was missing, and it took me time to understand and find my way. But despite that ache, I’m endlessly grateful that I carried a piece of you with me all these years.

Music saved me when nothing else could, pulling me from so many dark places. It’s the thread that’s always bound me to you, even though you were never physically there. If you weren’t my grandpa, I honestly don’t know where I’d be today. You might not have been with me in body, but I’ve always felt your presence in spirit—through the music, the legacy, and the love you unknowingly passed down. For that, I’m forever thankful.

Continue to rest eternally♥️
Posted on by V

Bye 2024

This year was truly one for the books. I wish I would say it’s ending on a high note but I don’t necessarily think that is the case.

This New Year’s Eve has fallen victim to the crappy day tradition as most New Year’s Eves in my experience do.

So much transpired this year but there were some good in there as well. We found my dad’s paternal family and that was the biggest blessing. Although my grandpa has since passed I’m still so grateful to know who his family is and to know that we have all carried pieces of him with us without even knowing it.

Here’s to those who are no longer here with us.

Here’s to 2025. May the new year bring nothing but blessings. God is forever faithful and in control.

Posted on by V

Year apart

Today was interesting to say the least. I spoke to the young man who we think is my brother and I realized that we had similar experiences with our dating lives as well. I couldn’t help but think of how different things would’ve been if I had the advice of a sibling so close in age. I helped him reconnect with someone who means a lot to him. It was nice to realize that she might be his person. He’s possibly found his birth family and she was who he wanted to share that experience with. I know what it’s like to have that person as well. Ironically enough, I told him about my experience and hours later Snapchat told me that my ex is a friend suggestion. These apps are always listening.

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Fellowship

The past two nights we’ve had fellowship services where several church’s have come from all over to worship with us. I’m glad we were able to attend both nights. Each preacher left me with a word.

So much has been going through my mind but I was able to get some clarity. I love going into a service feeling overwhelmed and leaving feeling like a load has been lifted. God is good.

All the time.

God is good, for that reason I have to trust that he’s working all things out for our good. He’s always on time, prior to learning our DNA results I always thought I was a pretty patient person. Now? I think I’ve just started to learn. Wrestling everyday with the question as to whether we should reach out or not has been tough.

It’s still a waiting game.. but what if they’re waiting for me to initiate communication while I’m waiting for the same? Ugh, one of these days I’m just going to jump and hope I stick the landing..

Cheers🥂

Posted on by V

Late Night Chronicles

Dad: “Well Shad, I’d hope that they have a heart because it sounds like he had a heart.”

Me: Not as optimistic “uh huh”

I told him that I noticed another one of the sisters was on the Ancestry DNA portal last week. I did not send a message to her initially because someone in connection to them had already responded to me. When I log on the DNA matches are right in front of my face. I can’t help but wonder if they see me in their matches and are curious as to who I am. Or if they aren’t even phased by the possibility that I am a close relative of theirs.

Hoping my dad is correct. Truly.

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Faded Dreams analysis

Music speaks to us in so many ways.

“Though it tried to break me down I’m still here and I’m standing.”

“God my protector, with me forever.. he got my back.”

Simple reminders keep me grounded.

Tomorrow – well today because it’s 12:19am? will be two weeks since my husbands been home while I work. The first week was filled with stress and anxiety but this week we’ve been able to embrace the time together. I work from home so it’s been great having someone here to distract me and have lunch with. Still remaining hopeful although there’s been no update on when he can return to work from his employer. Trusting God to work this one out for our good. He’s got our back😉

Posted on by V

A New Thing Tour

Madison Ryann Ward – Mercury Lounge NYC 9/3/23

I was blessed with the opportunity to see Madison Ryann Ward on her first ever tour over the holiday weekend. Her album A New Thing has healed my soul in ways I never knew were possible. It has healed parts of me I didn’t know needed healing.

Through her music you can tell she’s got a genuinely relatable love for Christ. I love seeing young adults like myself not ashamed to spread the love of God. It was a joy seeing her in person. She walked right by where we were standing to make her way to the stage and I’m surprised I held it together. I can’t wait to see how God uses her for his glory.

The album will always be a favorite of mine because it brought me back to a place I had strayed so far from. This tour is just a small stepping stone for what God has in store for her. She’s got a voice that can calm the storm.