Posted on by V

Cabo

It’s been a week since we got back from Cabo and I’m just finally feeling like myself again. We had a thirty hour travel journey home and it was brutal.

Although it’s a journey to and from Cabo, the town stole my heart. I can’t wait to go back for more than an extended weekend. I loved that we got to support mom and pop restaurants. We ate breakfast at the same spot everyday and I’m glad we decided to go off the tourist path. The locals were amongst some of the friendliest I’ve met. We also had some of the best coffee we’ve ever had too. That was the last thing we expected to rave about when we got home but the family who operates the restaurant should be proud of their hard work.

So far 30 has been good to me. Today I unlocked a new level of production at work and that’s a huge accomplishment. Since I’ve been back production has skyrocketed and I’m only trying to keep the momentum going. We spent Saturday and Sunday afternoon with my in-laws. Lately, steak dinners and a Netflix movie has been our thing. In three weeks my sister in law and niece will be here to visit from Germany and we’re excited. We haven’t seen them since Christmas and the baby has gotten so big. It’s cool having family all over but it awful when you feel like you’re missing crucial moments of their lives. Still grateful for all the time we get though. Some people don’t even get that much.

Aiming to make the 30’s my glass half full decade.

Posted on by V

Breaking Barriers

Despite all the losses/missed opportunities in my 20’s the biggest thing I’ve gained was definitely a better relationship with my in-laws all round. The dynamic has shifted in a way I only saw possible in my dreams – if we’re being real. My husband joked that nothing has changed I’ve just accepted their corkiness but there has definitely been a change. We are all more relaxed together, we watch movies and cry together. We have dinner almost every other Saturday now which is awesome and I’m so thankful. I can finally be myself with them without feeling anxious or that I’m being judged to an extent. I could’ve been all in my head back then but either way I’m just glad we’ve been able to overcome those barriers.

I dreaded the idea of having bad in laws forever but “hashtag” look at God.

Posted on by V

Reject

As my understanding of certain situations expands I’m starting to realize more and more that some things are more common than I could’ve ever imagined.

In-laws. Conflict with in-laws specifically whether it’s not getting along or not fostering a relationship at all.

How do you handle the scenario where the future in-laws have made zero attempts to foster a relationship despite the continued respect and acknowledgment on your part?

Many say confront the problem head on and in some cases I agree. However, how do you go about that when they deny the feelings of rejection that are projected by their actions?

In this case your partner is not a negative factor because they also feel the rejection and hate it just as much.

Does the partner confront their family or do you confront the family together as a united front?

Have you had enough when you’ve accepted that there may never be a relationship and the situation will eventually be out of sight out of mind? – But would be receptive if there were attempts made.

How do you confront the feelings of fear of bringing children into a situation as such? Or even possibly taking the next committed step in a long term relationship?

Does it affect your feelings towards your partner or is it just you both against the world?

Is it sometimes not necessarily about you but possibly the family’s view on your partner or relationship/lack thereof between them and your partner?

Have they made assumptions about your relationship based on misconceptions from an outside perspective or source?

These situations cause feelings of anxiety, stress, depression, anger, devastation, insecurity, self doubt and a cruel reality.

If you’ve had any bad in-law stories I’d love to hear them and how they turned out.