The year has been off to an interestingly rocky start to say the least. It’s taken quite a bit of time for me to even write down my thoughts because they’ve been so scattered. From Circles being released to Kobe passing there’s been a lot to digest. There’s been a lot of emotions and I just haven’t been able to put them into words.

Emotions of sadness, grief, confusion and peace. Emotions that all have contradicted each other one way or another and emotions that I constantly feel shouldn’t be felt but yet they are.

Circles by Mac was released and it’s still heavy on the rotation. Not because anyone’s depressed but because I feel it grants comfort. After Mac passed there were so many questions and to hear the music he left behind made me feel a sense of comfort knowing I got to hear where his head was at the time of his death. Also because it gives me hope for the way his story would’ve turned out had he had just made it through that night.

Kobe’s passing is a different kind of sadness than I felt when Mac died. Kobe was an inspiration for many athletes whether they played basketball or not. Growing up basketball was an important part of my life. I remember every recess in grades 3rd-8th, I always got the basketball and I would shoot hoops while the other kids played four square and kickball. I didn’t care if I was the only kid shooting hoops or if others wanted to play that day. I wasn’t a loner by any means but my passion for perfecting my shooting skills went farther than my interest in kickball or four square. Years went on and even though I didn’t play the sport on a team anymore I still occasionally shot around in the backyard. Saying all of that to say this, Kobe’s death reignited the love I had for the game. The last couple of weeks I’ve had the urge to pick up a ball and just shoot. The joy every swish brought was and still is like no other.

Kobe’s passing is one that will always feel surreal. But I can say I took one good thing away from the tragic situation and it’s remembering the reasons I devoted every recess to perfecting my shot.

Long live the Mamba.