Again it’s been awhile. I’ve noticed that sometimes I avoid writing because there’s so much I would like to get down but I just never know where to begin. So much has happened over the last few months and it’s been overwhelming, emotionally and physically. With covid-19 still being a threat and George Floyd losing his life due to police brutality and the aftermath of that my mind has been so cumbered. While still being cautious I’ve been asking myself a lot lately how I can contribute to change amongst the black community. As everyone knows there have been protests that have escalated into riots and two weeks ago when the President tweeted that when the looting starts the shooting starts I was shaken to my core. I’ll share something I posted on another social media outlet just because it sums up how I’ve been feeling the last couple of weeks. The initial anger and fear is not nearly as high as it was when I posted this but this unfortunate event opened my eyes to see so many different thought processes on the issue of racism and the biases in this country.

This cause needs whites and other ethnicities and races not considered minorities to stand with those oppressed. Some of the most influential people in my life are people who looked at me and felt I deserved a little extra love. If we were all kind to one another in that sense this world would be a better place.

“And instead of pushing for immediate arrest of the four officers he decided shooting black people is the best option. If you are more upset with the fires, looting etc opposed to the officers STILL not being charged kindly delete yourself from my page. And if you can’t understand the level of tiredness, anger, fear, distrust etc etc etc that is felt across the black community then please also delete yourself and save your comments for someone else. If these officers were charged we wouldn’t be seeing the situation we’re seeing now – how about you all criticize that. Save the fight this with love comments, save the MLK references, save the violence solves nothing comments, save the not all officers are bad comments too. If you have 1000 good cops and 10 bad cops and the good cops see their colleagues engaging in racist behavior and do nothing, you have 1010 bad cops. When you feel your back is against a wall and there are no other options it defaults to this. When black people constantly have to worry about their fathers, brothers, sons, daughters, mothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, grandparents, spouses, friends etc think about the emotional toll that must take when this continues year after year with no change. Y’all harp on mental health so much but people like me see an officer and instantly our hearts start to race and breathing gets heavy because of the continuous ANXIETY felt because of these situations. (Driving next to a trooper last night only the grace of God kept my hands from shaking off the wheel because of the instant fear I felt while he drove along side me in the next lane purposely NOT driving the speed limit to see who would pass him). How many of you have had to sit your children down and explain that because of the COLOR of their skin they are a potential target or can easily be the reason for the next BLM protest even while complying? Check your privilege the next time you want to say the behavior is uncalled for or even think it. Many of you are silent on these issues and I SEE YOU. Your silence speaks volumes so don’t think you’re just “staying out of it”. How many of you criticizers are prepared to stand up for people of color when you see these injustices occurring in everyday life? You say don’t record – intervene but while we intervene we’ll end up dead too. You privileged folks can intervene knowing guns won’t be drawn and instantly fired we don’t have that peace of mind. Understand, empathize, use your privilege for good. If you feel situations can be handled differently JOIN the cause, share your thoughts in a way that will bring about the change you claim you want to see for people of color, otherwise stay in your lane. If you’re a family member or close friend and you are offended by this post please feel free to express your opinion privately. If you’re not an ally you’re an enemy.

These tests aren’t 100% accurate but the results will get you thinking/talking one way or another.
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/“

Hope y’all are staying mentally sane and healthy through all of this as I’m trying to do the same. As states start relaxing their social distancing rules stay vigilant.