Whenever I’m barked at by anyone I tend to retreat within myself and I stay there for long periods of time. Something about getting yelled at just makes me feel so small and essentially unloved. They say love is not easily puffed up but that seems to be the only kind of love I’ve known.

Does that mean I have yet to experience true love?

When it’s reoccurring is it then a choice to make me feel small?

Sometimes I don’t feel I deserve that no matter what I may or may not have done and that’s where I’m wrestling with myself. Do I stay or do I seek out greener grass?

It’s hard to cope with emotional and verbal abuse. They know it’s not easy but they’ll point out not knowing how or why you stay.

The answer is because I’m fucking stupid that’s why or how I stay. My stupidity will only keep me here for so long though. After awhile when I’m fed up nothing will hold me. It’s to a point where I am fed up to an extent but there’s still a small light beam of hope that’s slowly growing dim. When that goes out completely there will be no going back.

I’m a lot more delicate than one may assume.