Saturday my little sister took part in a drama club production. It was more special than I could’ve imagined. My sister did great for it being her first theater project. I felt like Regina George’s mom in Mean Girls recording every scene she was in. My husband attended the performance with me and I found myself leaning over time and time again whispering “this will be our lives some day”. Attending multiple school functions a week, feeling proudness beam from our faces, chitchatting with teachers who are very much my seniors, etc.

Ironically, my sister attends the same small village elementary school I attended when I was her age. Which means there are some teachers there who have also taught myself and nurtured my emotional development.

At the end of the performance it was announced that the teacher who took part in the play is also retiring at the end of the school year. Hearing that made me feel a tremendous amount of gratitude. I felt like I was on a high the rest of the day and the days following. As I watched her recite her lines it brought back memories of sitting in her classroom sometimes just the two of us, other times with 2-3 other students and her reading books to us in some of the same tones she used during the play. Looking back, it made reading enjoyable although I did not appreciate it then.

If my memories serves me correctly, I was in the 5th grade when that same teacher essentially changed my life for the better. In many ways she saved me. In the years to come she remained someone I felt safe with. Someone who always listened and encouraged me. At a time when I didn’t want to share certain aspects of my life with my parents, I always had her.

After transitioning to high school I prioritized going back to my elementary school just to sit in her classroom and tell her about my new experiences. She was no longer my teacher but she never once told me that my coming was inappropriate or too much or not necessary. I love her for that. In times when I felt lost in the crowd she made me feel seen.

Now that she’s retiring, I’m grateful that my sister is the last of us at that school and that my sister got to experience how remarkable she is as well. My sister may not understand why I’ve told her since kindergarten that this teacher was my favorite but she knows she’s special to me. I’m grateful my husband got to meet her after years of me mentioning her at pivotal moments in our lives. I genuinely think him meeting her brought us closer.

Seven years together, he’s met all the important family and friends but this was the first time he was face to face with the woman I still hold close to my heart. Leading up to them meeting I was anxious. I joked that this was his second “meeting the parents” but I didn’t know how emotional it would’ve made me after analyzing the fact that she’s retiring and how I most likely wouldn’t have met my husband if she didn’t save me from myself way back when.

As an adult I’ve always been mindful of boundaries and ensuring that boundaries are not crossed. With that, I have kept communication with her to a minimum but I’ve always yearned for more. There’s been times I’ve needed advice and instead of reaching out I convinced myself that it may not be appropriate considering I didn’t want to seem pushy or desperate, if we must. It’s most likely bullshit as I’m always in my head but I hope that with her retirement it opens the opportunity for us to see each other more and communicate more overall.

I pray that her retirement is purely because she’s simply had enough and not because her health won’t allow her to continue.