Since it’s almost 1am we can say it’s officially Thursday. Today makes day 6 and no answers on my husband’s job or the status or whatever they need to do to clear him for work. As the days have gone on we’ve come to terms with the fact that this outcome may not be what either of us wants. The less we know the easier it is to fall into hopelessness I guess.

We just want this nightmare to end.

I passed out before I could publish this so it’s now 8am. I got up and my husband is just sitting on the couch refreshing his emails every other second. As of right now there’s still no word from his employer.

Friday September 15th 12pm I was talking to my husband letting him know that this open enrollment period for health insurance I’d like to make the switch to his company because labor and delivery is covered 100% no deductible. Fast forward 3 hours. I get a text that he’s been in an accident in the parking lot at his job.

I pinged my supervisor and let him know that I was logging out for the day because the panic set in about whether he was injured or not. Little did I know that would’ve been the least of my worries.

Physically he was fine. Mentally he was anxious and on top of that now his job was in jeopardy. Next month will make 11 years with the employer. The accident occurred with another employee in an area where there is a known blind spot issue. There’s a mirror but the mirror only shows so many angles with that fence there. Neither saw each other until it was too late.

He was told to clock out immediately amongst a few other things. Including that he couldn’t return to work until the investigation was complete. I’m not sure what there is to investigate when it’s obvious to all the witnesses and after replaying the video that it was a clear mistake.

You’d think after 10 years the employer would approach the situation differently. Maybe suggesting a fix to the problem or a better solution and reassure those involved that their jobs were still secure, after all we are all human and things happen.

We spent the entire weekend worrying, losing sleep, not eating and trying to remain hopeful. Our 2 year old niece is here from Germany and we went by to see her Saturday and just weren’t in the mood. We’ve loved spending time with her but Saturday nothing could get our spirits up. Sunday was not much different other than the fact that we thought we were one step closer to getting some answers.

Today is Monday September 18th. We thought we’d have answers today and would be able to put this behind us but today sent us down a deeper spiral. We still had no answers. Communications between him and his boss as well as HR were vague. Neither had any solid answers or seemed to understand that we felt our life was going up in flames before our eyes.

I spent most of the day trying to reassure him that we would be okay regardless of the outcome but by the days end all the emotions from the weekend and realizing this may take longer than initially thought came spilling out.

We were preparing dinner and he busted out in tears. He said he feels like he’s no longer employed there and it’s been apart of him for so long and it isn’t easy to feel okay. Seeing him broken hurt me to my core. I instantly felt sad for him. I’ve always told him he can do something less physically demanding but I never would have wished that he would be in this situation of uncertainty. In December we’ll be married for 2 years. I never thought that unemployment would be an obstacle we may have to face. I always thought because he did such great work his job was secure there.

Turns out no matter how much you do. No matter how many unpaid hours you spend there at the end of the day you’re expendable. Easily replaceable and those in management positions don’t care about the lives they so easily ruin instead of owning their faults. They make threats instead of protecting their workers in times they should. That parking lot is a walking safety hazard. There are no signs and blind corners and spots in too many places that should be allowed.

We barely got through dinner tonight.. when the sadness took over we lost our appetites but I pray he doesn’t lose his job over something that he was not 100% responsible for. He was driving the car but he couldn’t see the other vehicle and they didn’t see him either.

I’m scared for him. For as long as I’ve known him this employer has been a crucial part of his identity. If he doesn’t get fired, how can one be comfortable in that environment knowing the smallest mistake is instant unemployment?