John Mayer is one of my all time favorite artists. His music has gotten me through certain periods of my life and they’ll forever hold a special place in my heart. Tonight he opened his summer tour in town and it got me thinking. Initially I was invited to go to the concert with an ex because John played an important role in both our lives. He was one of the first things we bonded over and being musicians also there were lots of John Mayer covers needless to say.

It got me thinking about why people don’t think it’s appropriate to stay friends with exes under any circumstances. For me personally, I think it’s possible and I don’t understand having to cut exes off because it didn’t work out romantically. Some of my exes I was friends with years before the friendship evolved into something intimate. It’s unfortunate to have to lose the friend aspect when it ends especially after long relationships (3+ years). I think if both people can come to terms with why they didn’t work out romantically but why a friendship is better it’s fine to continue having a friendship after the fact. Most people think if you’re friends with an ex it means you’re not over them romantically and I’ve always disagreed. Sometimes we spend years with someone and there’s an understanding that develops that just never diminishes. An understanding formed based on an emotional connection rather than a physical one.

Now because this ex is now married I didn’t feel it was appropriate to third wheel because his wife feels exes cannot just be friends and everyone’s entitled to their own opinions🥶

Not everyone leaves a relationship still cherishing the understandings and the memories made. Not every relationship ends on good terms so I know it’s not always possible to salvage a friendship but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being friends if both people can be adults about moving forward as such.